My Biggest Hope

22/10/09

Surrogate-
The second movie we watched together in the cinema. But I was not feeling well, my ankle was very painful and I was chilling. I tried to act like nothing, because I know he likes to watch movie very much, just didn't want to affect his mood. However, the excruciating pain made me failed to walk after the movie ended. He was in shocked, held my hand and hugged my waist, guided my steps to walk... Everyone leave the cinema, only two of us being left behind, but he still watching my steps, and walked with me slowly. I noticed the people around were looking at us, curious on my odd movement... I looked at him, found that he didn't notice it, because his eyes were just focusing on me, never leave... I felt my heartache, if i were to cause him being the attention of the public, and we couldn't dating like other normal couples... In the washroom, I saw him waiting outside, and his worried and reckless face, I felt tears dropping on my cheek...

Pavilion-
Dating with him, but I don’t feel happy, not because of my painful joints, but his worried face when seeing me in pain… Does he know? I hate myself most when his day is affected by me. I hope my existance will only bring him joy and happiness. So I told myself, if one day when the things I able to bring him are only anxiety and worries, forever I’ll disappear from his world… Because my biggest hope, is just to see this man who I love most, living happily everyday...